THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE

Every one need love, in fact no LOVE no life, love is the life blood of society, no doubt.

Man (Male or Female) is an object of love, life becomes more meaningful, more purposeful and more interesting once we start to expend love and enjoy it as being expended on us by others. In an Ancient Book, the Great Master’s reply to a lawyer’s inquest was that the summary of all laws and ordinances is LOVE; love for the most High God and love for fellow mankind (our neighbor).

To be loved you must first show love, are you feeling unloved, maybe you should start loving. If you are not sure of your love state; answer the under listed questions.

ü Do you feel mostly unhappy

ü Do you feel the sting of being rejected

ü Do your closet friend and even family often push you away

ü Do you often feel being mistreat by all

ü Do you feel mostly misunderstood

ü Do you feel you are wrap up in loneliness

Experiencing any, some or all of the above is an indication that you are desperately in need of LOVE but as afore said; the solution is not to go hunting for it rather you should start unleashing yours, also it is a sign that you need an understand the language of love.

It means having a good knowledge of the system of communication either in signs, speech or writing of the person you have affection for.

We all want to be loved, accepted, forgiven when we err, when we receive the wrong type of love, we feel empty and unwanted.

People do all kind of things to try and fill the vacuum created by love in their life. Some try to impress there spouse by been hard working and bringing all the money, some cook good food and clean the home but to what essence if when there is no joy in the home because nothing can replace love in anybody’s life.

Complaints from other parties reveal inner longing for emotional love, listen to them and it will reveal the language of love the other person speaks. Examples;

“You didn’t bring anything for me?”

“When last did we have time together?”

“Do I ever do anything right”

Etc.

Love language is the medium through which you can express love and it will be well received, decoded, appreciated, and replied by the other party. What is that person sensitive to, what will gladden the                               persons mind?

Love should be expressed; love not expressed cannot be felt adequately. Love is expressed in giving; there can be no love without giving. Any act of “love” seeking to gain, receive or benefit self is not love but selfishness and infatuation because real love is selfless, it seek the other party’s good only.

LOVE LANGUAGES TO BE UNDERSTOOD

Negotiation and resolution of conflict is easier when there is love. Love must be unconditional.

Love is humble, honors, kind, shows passion, not arrogant and love cares. Love your spouse not the way you want him to love but the way he actually need to be love.

QUALITIES OF LOVE EXPRESSIVE WORDS: Words which expresses love must:

·                   Be sincere and specific, no sycophancy or manipulations – Look for the good and built on it – praise and appreciation.

·                   Extol the good qualities of others in their presence and encourage more.

·                   Focus on the good in the person behind the deed and not the good or bad deed.

ACTS OF SERVICE

ü     Love in  deeds

ü     Action speaks louder than voice

ü     Learn to give a helping hand

ü     Also do not kill a willing horse

ü     Doing or give to your partner what he or she would love to have, not what you like him or her to have.

MEETING MATERIAL NEEDS – GIFTS

You cannot love without giving

·                   Not just on occasions

·                   Not the cost but the thought

·                   Give according to the desire of the receiver and not the giver

·                   Giving can be meaningful and valuable when it is sacrificial

QUALITY TIME

When you love a person you want to be in his or her company always

·                   Not necessarily the length of time but frequency and consistency

·                   Undivided attention

ü    Doing activities together

ü    C.S Lewis said no time spent with a child is ever wasted

ü    Looking into each other’s eyes

ü    Discussing what interest the other party

ü    Use body language positively

PHYSICAL TOUCH

Three hugs a day keep marriage counselors away

ü Holding hands while walking

ü Putting hands on shoulder

ü Embracing and other deeper expression of emotions

ü Research has shown that meaningful touches has the following valuable:

1.    Enhance blood circulation thus increasing the body’s ability to heal itself and fight off diseases

2.    Lowers blood pressure

3.    Increases the level of energy/enthusiasm

4.    Makes one feel more positive about those with whom we interact and live generally

HOW TO INCREASE RESPONSIVENESS

·                   Eliminate the negatives – don’t be pessimistic

·                   Re-enforce the desired language with praise

·                   Clear up offences

·                   Be patient and prayerful

·                   Ensure your partner is growing and not depreciating

·                   Protect your partner and avoid selfishness

·                   Don’t be overly consumed with your interest in career

·                   Don’t assumed ask questions because misinterpretation causes hurt and frustration

·                   Develop good listening skill

CONCLUSION

Great relationship demands conscious efforts from parties involved create time to learn and speak each others language, there may be no immediate result but don’t give up and soon the bound of love in your homes will get stronger and your relationship will blossom.